I just turned 26. My boyfriend likes to say how I’m closer to 30 than 20, and that pisses me off.
For the past few years, I always freaked out about my birthday because I was afraid of the future. I was scared of growing old without having anything to show for it.
See, I didn’t plan on living this long. I always assumed I’d carry out a successful suicide sooner rather than later. But thanks to my job, my boyfriend, and my cat, I’ve been putting it off.
I know that’s a good thing, don’t get me wrong. Still, I am not prepared to live out the rest of my life. The future is scary as hell, and I feel unprepared to deal.