Every end of the year, I reflect on what transpired over the course of the past 365 days. I am a naturally introspective person, so I enjoy examining these events and the effects they’ve had on me.
Living with depression, it’s always the default to see things in extremes, i.e. this year has been terrible. My perspective is skewed to look at the shitty parts of life, so in this post, I’ll do my best to be as rational as possible.
For weeks, I pestered my parents for us to take a trip. It doesn’t have to be far away! I just want to get away from the metro for a while!
Finally, on a weekend near the end of November, they caved to my whining. We’d be going to Quezon for an overnight trip, and they encouraged me to bring Gelo so I’ll have company.
And so, with some alcohol in the bed of our pickup and way more food than is necessary for an overnight trip, we drove to Real, Quezon. Being the chronically sleepy bum that I am, I spent the whole drive fast asleep, curled up like a cat, while Gelo happily made conversation with my parents.
This has been an incredibly painful month for me. It didn’t help that I turned 22 and I still feel like my shit isn’t sorted. My only comfort is that at least I’m still learning, which means (hopefully) I haven’t given up yet.
So, here are a few things I’ve learned recently:
Growing up means doing things you don’t want to, because you have to.
For me, that means going to work and doing my laundry even on days when all I feel capable of doing is curling in a ball and crying. Growing up means biting the bullet and moving back in with my mom, even if it’s the last thing I want to do, because I simply can’t pay my rent anymore. That shit stings, but I’m a big girl. I’m an adult (supposedly). I have to be okay with the difficult choices I make.
And speaking of difficult choices…
Love doesn’t conquer all.
“Baby, sometimes love just ain’t enough,” so goes that song. Love is a beautiful, majestic thing, but it’s not the only thing. In love, as with everything else, there comes a time when you have to make a difficult choice. And as I’ve said before, doing the right thing isn’t always easy. You can love each other very much, but there will always be external factors that come into play.
And please don’t tell me, “If you love each other enough, you’ll find a way to make it work.” Haven’t we all outgrown that trite, naïve advice? Sometimes, there’s no other way than to let go.
Friends aren’t always there for you.
Being single can be awesome, but it can also get pretty lonely. When I was in college, I didn’t mind much because I had my lovely friends who I saw every day. Now that we are all working, though, we hardly ever meet. I can’t go running off to Tapsi to drunk-cry on their shoulders, because we all have our own separate lives and schedules now.
It’s not that they don’t want to be there for me. I know they do. But I can’t insist on taking their time just so I could feel a little less lonely for a night. That would be asking too much, and I never ask for more than what others could give.
Even The Best Friend has got a job now. He spends his time either working or resting. As much as I want him here right now, I repeat, I never ask for more than what others could give. I swear, these are the times that I wish I had a more emotionally available best friend.
These lessons are coming at me so hard and fast that I feel overwhelmed by it all. But if this is growing up, then please send me the hell back to my childhood.
Took an unpaid day off work to celebrate Lolo‘s birthday with the family. I haven’t spent time with them in quite a while: I hardly ever go home anymore, preferring to spend the weekends in my apartment instead. So this is a nice change of pace.
HR Team bonding
At work, we get quarterly budgets to spend bonding with our department co-workers. This quarter, we decided to go to SM MOA for Sakae Sushi.
I stuffed my face with tuna sushi and sweet-and-sour fried fish of some sort.
May the odds be ever in your favor
I went to see Godzilla in IMAX with The Best Friend last week. We spotted this mockingjay necklace in a comic book store and of course I had to have it.
New addiction: Zalora
Shopping is fun, but it’s easy to get bored and tired of going from shop to shop in a crowded mall. Thanks to Zalora, impulse-buying can be less stressful. :p Now I’m addicted to browsing their site and adding to my wishlist.
Recently, I ordered a new pair of shoes and they arrived the next day. Super fast service!
You’ve gotten good at hiding emotion…
A lyric from Sleight of Hand, AKA my new favorite Urbandub song. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Despite The Ruins being the highlight of our Bacolod trip, that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy the places in between as well. Although none of them matched up to the ruins (nothing will ever match the ruins, ever), I was still able to get some decent shots.
Where my mom and I argued about the kind of fish that was swimming in the lagoon.
Me: It’s tilapia!
Mom: Why would they put tilapia in a lagoon?!
(Upon asking a local, it turned out I was right: the fish were tilapia. WHO SAYS MOTHERS KNOW BEST?!)
My first (and hopefully not the only) outing this summer was an overnight stay in Lucena, Quezon at the Quezon Premier Hotel. We had a package inclusive of dinner, breakfast, and a 30-minute body massage.
It also included a day tour to two nearby attractions:
Kamay ni Hesus
It took us fourteen minutes to climb this.
View from the top
To get to the falls, we had to hoof our way there for maybe five to ten minutes. This reminded me of my Laguna experience, except way less nerve-wracking.
Since it was a weekend, I expected that people would be swimming there, but what I didn’t expect was…
A swarm. A positive swarm of people who have set up tents and tarpaulins and portable cookware as far as the eye can see. No rock was left unoccupied. I wish I took photos but I was too stunned (no exaggeration here) to do so.
I didn’t get to appreciate the falls as it was way too crowded for my taste 🙁
Enough about this, though; let’s get to the gritty (and honestly, my favorite) part of this post:
My list of complaints!
The hotel had brownouts frequently, and I mean frequently. The power must have gone out not less than three times during our stay.
I called at 6:30PM asking when dinner would be served. The desk operator said 7PM. At 8PM, I called asking why dinner hasn’t been served yet. He replied that they would now begin making our food.
Breakfast the following morning also took a long time to be served. Two of our party hadn’t even gotten their dishes yet while the rest of us were already finished. To make things worse, the server was a sarcastic smartass.
The tour was supposed to start at 8AM and last for four hours. It started at 9AM and lasted for over six hours. We were exhausted and pissed off, because we were supposed to be heading back home early.
Thankfully, one of the staff was very polite and apologetic. I guess I shouldn’t have expected more, though; it was a discounted price.
Overall, it was nice to spend time with my family before I start job-hunting (gulp!) in May. I hope we get to go out again and make the most out of this summer.