I have been a smoker since 2009. The past 3 years, I smoked a pack or two a day. Smoking brought me relief from stress, it made me feel better after a big meal, and it was perfect with a cup of coffee. When I was unemployed, I smoked a couple of packs a day out of sheer boredom.
There was also a social aspect: smokers tend to go on breaks together and chit-chat while puffing away.
So what made me decide to quit in December 2017?
My coworker got gifted a vape set by his friend, and I tried puffing on it just to see if it tasted good. I had tried vaping before, and I hated it because it made me cough.
This time around, though, I liked it enough to buy my own mod, atomizer, and juices. I was excited at the prospect of a new hobby. I watched videos on how to wick properly, and went to several vape shops to taste new juices.
I have always liked the idea of living off my own money. Sure, I loved that I got to keep my whole salary for myself, but now that I have a stable job, I knew it was time to see if I could make it without my mother paying all the bills.
Due to a bad combination of schoolwork, personal problems, and the constant threat of me having to walk home all the way from UST to San Mateo because my wallet always seems empty, this week started out with me feeling shitty and crying my eyes out to Keane. #LongestSentenceEver
I’ve been feeling like shit, toxic and full of self-loathing. I also look like shit, with circles under my puffy, tired eyes. When commuting, I want to pick fights with strangers for stepping on my foot, bumping against me, staring at me, etc. …
Yes, I needed that in all caps and with an exclamation point!
Past couple of weeks have been killing me. I have been frantically keeping up with my schoolwork, nursing a broken heart, going out with friends… Those are my priorities as of the moment (in order, thankyouverymuch).
College is getting to me. I’m already a second year student but it’s still surprising to find out how stressful the workload can get.
I sleep badly on weekdays now. In school, I feel like in a constant state of panic, thinking, “Pag-uwi ko, I should do this paper first, then another, then study pa for the quiz.” Too much to do and too little time to do it, so I have to do it half-assedly. …