• Friends,  Positivity

    I almost flaked on plans to have a wonderful night out

    When I’m in a depressive slump, I tend to shut myself off from people. My psychiatrist told me that I should follow through with plans, regardless of how I feel on that day. He said that it would help me feel better.

    He understood that it takes more energy for a depressive person to do this, but he stressed the point that isolating myself and lying prone in bed is not helpful, and only serves to reinforce my loneliness.

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  • Health,  Positivity,  Writing

    Resolutions and Goals for 2019

    In a manic pursuit of self-improvement, I created an extensive list in Todoist of my goals in 2019.

    goals, resolutions, 2019

    Really, I’m setting myself up for failure, because there are so many damned goals:

    Meditate twice daily! Exercise! Stop smoking! Meet with Gelo! Read more books! Write more often! Eat at new restaurants! Go to the theater! Meet with YC! Visit a museum! Arrange an out of town trip with Boopy! Meet with the squad! Donate to my preferred animal shelter! Meet with Kath!

    Just a few of my goals for 2019.

    It’s ironic that one of my goals is “make time for yourself”. Seriously, after doing all this, how am I supposed to even keep my eyes open?

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  • Family,  Mental health,  Positivity,  Relationships,  Ruminations,  Writing

    Reflections on 2018

    Every end of the year, I reflect on what transpired over the course of the past 365 days. I am a naturally introspective person, so I enjoy examining these events and the effects they’ve had on me.

    Living with depression, it’s always the default to see things in extremes, i.e. this year has been terrible. My perspective is skewed to look at the shitty parts of life, so in this post, I’ll do my best to be as rational as possible.

    2018, kylie jenner, quote
    Kylie was really onto something there.
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  • Friends,  Personal Favorites,  Positivity

    I found comfort in the chaos of Makati

    In a bustling city of concrete and glass, we converged as strangers. Different people, different stories.

    One thing united us, as we eventually discovered: we were all broken in some way. Our past relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners haunted us. Those ghosts followed us all the way to Ayala Avenue, where an office building stood dark and formidable.


    Within those four walls, I experienced a gamut of emotions. Joy. Stress. Motivation. Pride. Anger. Sadness. You saw it all, from me helplessly weeping on the sidewalk to me practically yelling in the streets in a fit of rage.

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  • Friends,  Positivity,  Ruminations,  Self-care

    On the importance of kind words

    Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.
    So the saying goes. It’s garbage because I personally know many people who have been hurt by words alone, and also those who hurt other by speaking. The way we talk to each other has a powerful impact on the impression we make and the relationships we create and maintain.
    [photo source]
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  • College life,  Positivity,  Ruminations

    Graduation reflections

    I’ve always dreamed of graduating from college. There seemed to be nothing better than finally getting school over with and start earning my own money. School seemed to be a chore, with an endless line of professors telling me what not to do, what to do, and when and how to do it.
    Now that I’m finally getting my diploma, though, I’m surprised by the realization that despite my countless gripes as a college student, I’m scared of leaving.
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  • Books and Comics,  Positivity

    A fangirl for Frankl

    When I got a low prelim grade in our subject Theories of Personality, I was determined to make up for it. Our professor gave us a chance at extra credit by giving a report to the class and Paula and I chose to do one together on Viktor Frankl.

    You know how they say that you don’t find love, love finds you? I didn’t think this report would lead me to one of the best books I’ve read in a long time. I have fallen so unexpectedly in love with the Frankl book I checked out from the library <3

    I’m not much for reading nonfiction, but this? Damn! I couldn’t put it down. I read it everywhere: on a bus, in the bathroom, in a bar… In fact, it’s been due at the library for at least four days, but I don’t want to return it yet, it’s so good.

    Frankl was a Holocaust survivor, whose experience in concentration camps molded his psychological theory that man’s life is directed towards finding meaning. This theory is called logotherapy, from the Greek logos or “meaning”.

    He states that one can find meaning in life by the following:

    1. Creativity: by the act of producing something, e.g. painting, writing
    2. Experience: by experiencing beauty or goodness, or by fully experiencing another human being by loving him

    Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him.

    3. Attitude: by having a positive outlook on unavoidable suffering

    For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement.

    What I love about this theory of personality is how it states that man, despite his circumstances, always has a choice: the freedom of choosing the attitude to take towards the present conditions, unpleasant and unchangeable though they may be.

    Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

    Honestly, I felt like such an ultranerd-geek-dweeb when I reported, because I really love the topic! I was so friggin’ enthusiastic and bubbly in front of the class, trying to get them as excited as I was about Frankl.

    So maybe that low prelim grade was a blessing in disguise, because it led me to find this excellent book. The only problem now is that I have to return it and find a copy of my own, because every day it’s due at the library is costing me five pesos.
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  • Books and Comics,  College life,  Friends,  Places,  Positivity,  Ruminations

    On being a college sophomore and feeling infinite

    Friday. The last day of my second year in college.

    Goddamn, I feel old. I’m halfway through college. Granted, I’ll be taking up law, so that’s four more years of study, but I still feel so old. What happened to the days when I was just a frosh, and I looked at UST with wonder-filled eyes?

    I spent my last day not with blockmates, but with The Best Friend. We went to SM North Edsa. First stop: Toy Kingdom!

     Megasketcher photos are becoming our “thing”.
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  • Positivity,  Ruminations

    Last of 2010

    The gorgeous fireworks I missed at this year’s Paskuhan!
    [Photo source.]

    Here we are, less than 24 hours from the beginning of a new year.

    2010 has been terrific. Most of it has been fun, thanks to the incredible people in my life. This year, I have met new, fantastic friends (I’m looking at you, Tumblr folks) and become closer with old ones.

    This year, I have learned to drink not only vodka, but beer, cocktails, gin, wine, and hard liquor. I have been to several bars, learned drinking games (27 and Bobo Shot, heh), and learned to walk straight even with a fuckton of alcohol in my system. I am somewhat proud to say that I can now outdrink the very people (my neighbors from Marikina) who taught me to drink. Um, yay??

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  • College life,  Friends,  Positivity

    Optimism Challenge: Day I-Don’t-Know-Anymore-Coz-We-Haven’t-Done-This-Recently

    As of 11:59PM, I have officially concluded that October 7, 2010 was a happy day.
    The weird thing is, I don’t know why. Nothing exciting has happened; in fact, it was an incredibly average day. Went to school. “Studied”. Had a quiz. Ate dinner with Gab and Bru. Bought pastries from Goldilocks. Went home. Logged on the the Internetz instead of studying.
    Still, throughout the day, I have had a smile on my face. Ask Gab, and she’ll tell you that I haven’t had a day this consistently happy since… Shit, I can’t even remember.
    Anyway, in keeping with the Optimism Challenge with Vivien that we seem to have abandoned, here are things that made me happy today:
    1. Had a two-hour nap before getting ready for school
    2. Took my sweet time going to UST because I took the chance that there was no English class
    3. Had crazy fun with Gab in TYK, just being complete idiots
    4. Got 5/10 in the objective part in our History quiz. Sounds pretty low, but it’s 75%, so… Shove it up your ass.
    5. Actually had fun, for the first time, in Rational Psychology. Sir Luna asked us to evaluate him, and after that, the class took photos.
    6. Ate at McDonald’s with Gab, Bru, and Rod, Gab’s friend from high school
    7. Got the last seat on the bus
    Trivial, yes, but perhaps optimism—and sometimes, happiness, for I believe they are two different things—is all in the mind, how you try to view things. And today, the glass is half-fucking-full. 😀