• Depression and anxiety,  Prose and poetry,  Ruminations,  Sadness

    I can’t trust my senses

    You’re worthless. You don’t matter. Your existence means nothing: you may have been something special before, but not now, and never again.

    This isn’t me talking.

    That’s Depression, talking in His sweetly sinister voice.

    That voice has the ability to permeate the nooks and crannies of my mind. It is a noxious gas tainting my memories, even the good ones. I’ve been living with it for so long—more often than not, in eighteen years—that it’s difficult for me to ignore it.

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  • Prose and poetry,  Sadness

    Waves

    waves,ocean,sea,water
    Photo by Mourad Saadi on Unsplash

    Grief comes in waves.

    As the ocean waters can be smooth as glass before the tempest’s arrival, I am composed before the downward spiral of my unraveling.

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  • Careers and the employee life,  College life,  Ruminations,  Sadness

    I’m scared of the future, but really, who isn’t?

    You know how I’ve told everyone that I’ll be studying to become an attorney after college?
    Yeah, I’m not so sure about that now.

    I’m three semesters away from getting a degree in Behavioral Science. According to the plans I made years ago, after getting a degree, I should go straight to law school, pass the bar exam, become an attorney, and get a job that pays well so I can support my family. But now, I’m having doubts.

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  • Family,  Life updates,  Sadness

    I am constantly having headaches which can only be cured by a marathon viewing of Friends

    I’ve been feeling drained.

    The Simpsons: Relevant forever

    I’ve been feeling like shit, toxic and full of self-loathing. I also look like shit, with circles under my puffy, tired eyes. When commuting, I want to pick fights with strangers for stepping on my foot, bumping against me, staring at me, etc.

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  • Sadness

    Depression Junkie

    In Closer (one of my favorite movies), there was a scene where Clive Owen and Jude Law were locked in a heated argument over Julia Roberts.
    Confirming what I suspected, Kat told me that I seek out things to be depressed about. The sucky realization that this might be true in my case made me feel… well, what else, sad.
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  • Friends,  Mental health,  Sadness

    Bipolar? Or just plain batshit insane?

    Today was pretty good. In fact, it was a great day, compared to the last few weeks.
    Because my mom commuted with me, I spent zero pesos on fare and rode a taxi to UST (like a boss). I spent the morning with my beloved friends Gab and Kat, with whom I had serious heart-to-heart talks while eating Sausage McMuffins and hash browns.
    The day turned out swell: two of our professors were out so we got dismissed early, I chipped in PHP20 for a pizza but ate three slices (greedy bitch), and really just had fun with my barkada.
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