What did I get later that day? A huge fight with my friends. I ended up crying my eyes out.
I tried it again, and I lost my wallet full of cash which was supposed to be for Christmas gifts.
I tried it again, and I nearly got ran over by a jeepney.
Basically, every time I tried to be optimistic, it bit me in the ass.
When my friends turn to me when they have problems, I don’t know what to tell them. I feel like a hypocrite when I say, “It’s gonna be okay. It’ll will work out. Just keep smiling.” How can I say that when I myself don’t believe it? They feel like empty words. I tell people to look at the silver lining when I myself don’t see the damn thing. *sigh* The downside of being a pessimist.
Anyway… There’s a much less superficial reason why I am an optimist-turned-pessimist.
Disappointment has always been a recurring theme in my life.
Starting my day with a bright outlook means expecting good things to come. Having expectations means I would be setting myself up to be utterly disappointed when things go wrong. I don’t need more disappointment in my life, thank you very much. I get more than my fair share.
I therefore conclude (god, I sound like Kat) that pessimism is good. If you’re a pessimist, you’ll either be always right or pleasantly proven wrong. In closing, may I point out the irony that I use the monicker Miss Brightside, when my outlook on life is anything but bright.