College life,  Family

Distance

My mom and I had yet another fight the other day, after I got home from an impromptu sleepover at Gab’s.
Mom said the usual stuff: that I was a horrible daughter, I was going too far, she was going to send me back to Marikina. And you know what? I think her last idea wasn’t a bad one.
Lately, the two of us have been fighting more than usual. I feel suffocated, she feels neglected; it’s not a healthy combination.
Which is why maybe, not living together for a while might do us good. You know, like how some couples “cool off”.

I don’t want to go back to Marikina, though; the commute is more tiring from UST to there than to here in San Mateo, which is why I have tried to convince my mom to let me stay in a dorm.
I think me living in a dorm would benefit us both because:
  • it would be so much easier for me to go to school. Less hassle, less time and energy spent.
  • I honestly think I could focus more on my studies if I did
  • my mom and I would stop jumping down each other’s throats. I believe some distance would do us good. It would help us appreciate each other.
My mom would never approve, though, because:
  • she would remind me what I told her years ago: “Kaya ko naman mag-commute araw-araw.
  • she would say, “Ngayon ngang malayo bahay mo eh lagi kang naglalakwatsa, pag dorm ka pa kaya?
  • she would say, “Tayong dalawa na nga lang, iiwan mo pa ‘ko?
Plus, she doesn’t trust me at all now. I can’t say I blame her, but damn, if she would just let me dorm for even a semester, I’d prove to her that it’s good for us both.

Ela is a twentysomething who is constantly getting stuck in self-destructive behavior and bouts of low self-esteem. She struggles with depression and writes to relieve herself of her feelings. Sometimes she even blogs about other things like makeup and positivity. One of her pieces was published in the Inquirer Young Blood in October 2017. She likes cats, dogs, and sometimes even people.

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