Positivity,  Ruminations

Last of 2010

The gorgeous fireworks I missed at this year’s Paskuhan!
[Photo source.]

Here we are, less than 24 hours from the beginning of a new year.

2010 has been terrific. Most of it has been fun, thanks to the incredible people in my life. This year, I have met new, fantastic friends (I’m looking at you, Tumblr folks) and become closer with old ones.

This year, I have learned to drink not only vodka, but beer, cocktails, gin, wine, and hard liquor. I have been to several bars, learned drinking games (27 and Bobo Shot, heh), and learned to walk straight even with a fuckton of alcohol in my system. I am somewhat proud to say that I can now outdrink the very people (my neighbors from Marikina) who taught me to drink. Um, yay??

This year, my mom lost her trust in me, yelled at me for hours for coming home at 2 in the morning, yelled at me for coming home drunk and smelling of cigarette smoke, told me off for getting a tongue piercing, and cried so many times because I was being such a bad daughter. Looking back, this was my one big regret.

Here we are, less than 24 hours from the beginning of a new year.

A new year isn’t really a big deal, but people need, want, crave fresh starts. A chance to get things right or make them better. Most people like to think that with every new year comes a clean slate, and although I disagree, I’m not gonna disabuse them of the notion.

Here we are, less than 24 hours from the beginning of a new year.

I have no New Year’s resolutions. I didn’t keep the ones I made at the start of 2010, and I know for a fact that simply writing down “drink less” or “study harder” isn’t going to help my 2011.

Here we are, less than 24 hours from the beginning of a new year.

Counting down the hours, I wonder, have I changed? Have I grown as a person? At the start of this year, I thought I knew everything. I thought I was always in control, that I wouldn’t have any regrets this time around.
2010 was a big year for me. It forced me to challenge my beliefs, my perception of myself and the people around me, my priorities.

I am ready for another year of emotional roller coasters, 12 weeks of menstrual rage, 10 months of seizure-inducing schoolwork, two hot months of summer love (lol), and 365 days trying to make the most out of life.
2011, BRING IT ON!

Ela is a twentysomething who is constantly getting stuck in self-destructive behavior and bouts of low self-esteem. She struggles with depression and writes to relieve herself of her feelings. Sometimes she even blogs about other things like makeup and positivity. One of her pieces was published in the Inquirer Young Blood in October 2017. She likes cats, dogs, and sometimes even people.

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