When The Best Friend and I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2 at SM North Edsa, I wanted to cry. Not just because HP was supremely awesome in every way, but also because the experience was so infuriating.
For one, halfway through the movie, the film suddenly stopped and the screen went blank for about five minutes.
Another moment in the cinema which made me want to scream bloody murder: when the screen faded to black just before flashing the title card “19 years later”, they turned on the lights, apparently thinking the movie was over. I swear I was this close to yelling, “Get your shit together, SM!”
But what really irked me was the people in the cinema. They were so damn annoying that I wanted to throw my half-eaten hotdog into their faces. I hate them. I truly do. They deserve to get Crucio-ed and god save me from Azkaban because if I were a witch, I would totally be zapping everyone with Unforgivable Curses.
A list of annoyances, in detail:
- People kept looking at their cellphones. We are trying to watch a movie here, goddammit, and FYI, the bright light is distracting to other viewers. Can you not wait two hours before checking your phone? It’s probably just some “kain na p0h keu hihi gud PM” group message.
- At the very least, if you’re going to be looking at your phone in the cinema, try to keep it low in front of you and not where I can see it 10 rows away. I mean, for the love of god, you held it up so frickin’ high that I could see that you had a Samsung Champ.
- Talking. Loudly. Maybe you didn’t get enough attention when you were a kid so now you have to talk someplace where everyone is too busy concentrating to tell you to STFU. Maybe you’re just insecure about your smarts and feel the need to speak every five minutes so you can be the dude who has something to say about everything. Either way, realize that no one cares about your stupid remarks! No one wants to hear your jokes! You are not clever or witty, you’re just an asshole who can’t shut his yap.
- If you want to have inane chatter with your girl (who by the way is equally guilty of this so please get spayed before you have annoying babies), go do it after the movie, in a restaurant, in the middle of Commonwealth Avenue—I don’t really give a damn where, just stay out of my earshot.
- Speaking of babies, do not bring young kids. They squirm, they yell, they talk too loud. And don’t give me the “when you’re a parent, you’d understand” crap: I am not a parent, so really, all I could understand is that your son/daughter is elevating my blood pressure.
Exception to the assholes
There was a kid who kept saying, “Bye-bye, Harry Potter! Bye-bye!” Instead of finding him annoying, I found it to be the sweetest thing (and led me to cry harder).