Prose and poetry,  Relationships

Ruminations on a candle

Darkness envelops me in its impenetrability.

I light a candle and watch its light flicker,

tantalizing me with its slow, seductive dance.

I gaze intently into the bright yellow tongue of flame, searching

for an answer that may or may not show itself.

For a fleeting second, I think I saw your face

in the shifting smoke, uncoiling itself, gray memories

fading into nothing.

(I have become one of those people

who see Jesus in their toast)

The wind is howling outside and I want

to howl my miseries alongside it

but I remain as steady as the wax dripping slowly onto the

wooden table, warm and white.

Don’t stare too long at the candle,

my mother scolds,

you’ll harm your eyes.

Harm? Mother,

I’m already burnt,


in the promise of light

and warmth.

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Ela is a twentysomething who is constantly getting stuck in self-destructive behavior and bouts of low self-esteem. She struggles with depression and writes to relieve herself of her feelings. Sometimes she even blogs about other things like makeup and positivity. One of her pieces was published in the Inquirer Young Blood in October 2017. She likes cats, dogs, and sometimes even people.

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