Ruminations

New year, fresh start?

Or same shit, different year?

I’m having a hard time writing this. Partly because I’m simultaneously playing Tiny Tower, but mostly because I don’t know what to say, which in turn is because I don’t know how to feel.

Twelve months have passed but I still feel like I’m just coasting through life. It seems like I haven’t done anything truly worthwhile. I want to get passionate about something. I want to have life goals, I want direction, I want more than just getting by.

Still, I’m not saying that 2011 has been a complete disappointment. I managed to cross some things off my list. I also traveled with my family, got into the org I’ve always wanted to be part of, fell out of love, fell in love… It wasn’t perfect, but from that perspective, dayuuuum 2011 kicked ass.

Thank god I have the most amazing people in my life, without whom I would probably have lain down in the middle of Commonwealth Avenue, just waiting for a bus to run me over. Those people know who they are. I love you, guys! Thank you for staying with me through all my crap!

I’m not going to set myself up for disappointment by expecting 2012 to be a better year. Most likely, it’ll just be more of the same stuff: school, people, and beer.

I don’t know whether this comic makes me want to laugh or cry. Probably both, and probably at the same time, because I’m weird like that.

Survive a new year, everyone!

Ela is a twentysomething who is constantly getting stuck in self-destructive behavior and bouts of low self-esteem. She struggles with depression and writes to relieve herself of her feelings. Sometimes she even blogs about other things like makeup and positivity. One of her pieces was published in the Inquirer Young Blood in October 2017. She likes cats, dogs, and sometimes even people.

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