Confession: I was awkward from elementary to high school.
Okay, the word awkward has lost all meaning. The Internet has overused it to the point that it has been watered down so much. But I wanted to stress that I was really awkward: I was the fat friend, the loser, the ugly one, etc. etc.
Sure, my grades were okay and I entered essay-writing contests and debate competitions, but I was still a shy girl who just wanted to hang out with my circle of friends and get the day over with.
I’ll give you some examples of my embarrassing school moments (believe you me, this is cutting back):
My teacher was asking for a word that rhymes with lime, and I proudly said mime. She looked befuddled and stuttered, “Mime? What… What’s that?” I then hung my head in uneasy confusion: did I say something wrong? Mime is a word, isn’t it? I heard it in a Powerpuff Girls episode!
It was embarrassing for me to know something that the teacher didn’t. Ugh.
Getting nominated for class president and no one, not even the girl who nominated me, voted for me.
Accidentally throwing a potato really hard at a classmate’s head. Take note that the potato was in no way cooked or rotten, meaning it was almost rock-hard. My classmate ended up crying.
Three words: Armpit sweat stains.
Some guy was picking on me in front of the whole class so I sprayed his mouth with lots of cologne.
We were practicing a dance for our school’s Foundation Day. This guy I’m partnered with takes my hands and immediately starts yelling (literally YELLING) about how disgusting and sweaty my palms were. Asshole. (I don’t care if you can read this. I’m still calling you an asshole over it.)
I can’t remember when this occurred, but a dude was teasing me relentlessly so I punched him in the face and ran for my life. He went to class the next day giving me the evil eye and with a cast on his nose.
The upside is that it all helped me develop a thick skin and enabled me to laugh at myself and not take myself too seriously. If it weren’t for this crap, I might always have been afraid to look silly.
In conclusion!! When movies/books describe someone as awkward, please remember that once upon a time, a blogger from Marikina once showed up to school with clear lip gloss on and got teased mercilessly because it apparently looked like she had eaten a greasy meal beforehand.
(That was me. The lip gloss girl was me.)