Feminism

Our attitude towards sex videos

I was on Reddit browsing the r/PH random discussion thread when I saw a post by some lame-ass douche joyfully announcing, “[Name of blogger] has a scandal out!” By scandal, he was referring to a sex video.

sex, sex tape, sex videos, feminism
Photo by Tuur Tisseghem on Pexels.com

Of course, the feminist side of me got so angry seeing the responses when I woke up: “Penge link para mapanood ko,” (Give me a link so I can watch it).

Now, I am not sure whether the sex video was intentionally leaked by the blogger herself (more often than not, though, it’s the partner who leaks shit like that online). Thus, I cannot speak about this specific instance. What I will talk about instead is the general attitude people have when these kinds of scandals erupt.

It’s always the woman who gets flak for this shit.

Regardless of who leaked it, the overall sentiment is that the woman should be ashamed for having sex in the first place.
This is slut-shaming at its disgusting core. The double standard – that men are not held equally liable or equally “shameful” – in these situations infuriates me, because it only serves to highlight the patriarchy we live in. It indicates that men have no accountability in these situations because, well, they’re expected to have sex. But women as sexual beings? How dare they presume that their body is theirs to use as they see fit?

Victim-blaming is also a part of this.

Kababae mong tao, nagpapa-kuha ka ng video habang nakikipag-talik (You’re a woman, why would you take a video of yourself having sex?).”
Again, the fact that the blame falls on the woman for having sex – AKA exercising bodily autonomy – instead of the man for leaking the video without her consent, tells us that we women have no right to be angry or hurt when such a thing happens. It tells us that we are to be blamed because we trusted another person enough to be physically intimate, and thus we should be punished for being “promiscuous”.

I’ve seen this too many times. There becomes a camaraderie in which a lot of men pass the sex video along, sharing it with one another.

How objectifying can this be? They don’t see the woman as a human being whose right to privacy has been violated. They see it as entertainment, perhaps even as porn, but better because “it’s real”.

 

I’m so angry because once another sex video leaks, the cycle will repeat itself. It’s a symptom of a larger problem: that the attitude towards women are outdated, patriarchal, and harmful.

Ela is a twentysomething who is constantly getting stuck in self-destructive behavior and bouts of low self-esteem. She struggles with depression and writes to relieve herself of her feelings. Sometimes she even blogs about other things like makeup and positivity. One of her pieces was published in the Inquirer Young Blood in October 2017. She likes cats, dogs, and sometimes even people.

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