Relationships,  Ruminations


My birthday is less than a month away, and I’m stoked!

yellow pink and blue party balloons
Photo by Ylanite Koppens on

My boyfriend certainly plays a big part in why I look forward to this year’s birthday.

Our first date happened to fall on my birthday last year. He picked me up and took me out for a dinner date at The Frazzled Cook in Quezon City.

I didn’t even like him at first, but as the night progressed, I found that he was a great conversationalist who listens well and is smart enough not to be boring. So basically that was the start of our relationship, which I’m truly grateful for.

Another reason, probably, why I’m feeling excited about my upcoming birthday is that I feel like I’m really trying to get my shit together.

Sure, I still fail – I overspend, I have suicidal thoughts, I cry for no discernible reason – but I like to think that those are obstacles I needed to overcome. For the most part, I actually feel like I’m headed towards a bright future.

Honestly, I haven’t felt this excited about my birthday for the past 2 or 3 years.

As you may know, I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety. It took its toll on me to the point when special events don’t evoke emotion from me.

Recently, though, I’ve been tracking my moods using the Daylio app, and I was amazed to find that my good days far outweigh the bad. It was truly encouraging to see, and it made me look forward to even better days ahead.

I guess I’m excited about my birthday because it’s a way to celebrate life – another year which I survived.

Ela is a twentysomething who is constantly getting stuck in self-destructive behavior and bouts of low self-esteem. She struggles with depression and writes to relieve herself of her feelings. Sometimes she even blogs about other things like makeup and positivity. One of her pieces was published in the Inquirer Young Blood in October 2017. She likes cats, dogs, and sometimes even people.

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