A friendship I wish I never made

A friendship I wish I never made

I have made a lot of mistakes in my 26 years of existence; thus, I have a lot of regrets. Poor choices in romantic relationships, self-destructive behavior, etc. But the one thing that sticks out for me is a friendship with a particular person.

What I discovered during our friendship

This person had deep-seated trust issues. They were possessive of me having other friends, to the point that even missing a bus ride home with them was a point of contention. I had to walk on eggshells around them because they were especially sensitive. I always had to be the bigger person—I justified it by saying that they were too young and less mature than I was.

Gelo was always annoyed at my friendship with that person because he knows that they don’t treat me as well as I should be treated. He wondered why I bothered to keep up my friendship with that person for so long.

To be honest? It probably was an issue of me trying to “save” someone from themselves. Trying to “fix” their trust issues by earning their confidence and not letting them down. In this way, I was trying to validate myself.

In the end, I had decided that enough was enough. I didn’t maintain the friendship and let it wither away. That person unfriended me on Facebook and whenever I see our photos on Facebook Memories, I delete them.

I know they probably see me as a monster who broke their trust, but it was and is for the best. They saw me as their best friend, while I felt I could only show them the parts of myself that weren’t ugly or damaged. That’s not fair to either of us.

When our friendship ended, I learned to value myself more and not compromise on what I need in meaningful platonic relationships. I learned that the hard way. Still, I regret forging that friendship because it simply drained me emotionally over the course of 1+ years.

If you have a toxic person in your life, evaluate what value they bring to your growth as a person. Don’t make the same mistake I did by prolonging your agony.

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